shine on me…

Writing. The one thing, the only thing, which I’ve ever felt any confidence in. The hobby which I left in the past well over a decade ago…

Picking writing back up in April of this year, may have been one of the best tools in this recovery toolbox. I can PROCESS. I learn to FEEL, name the FEELINGS, and RESPOND appropriately.

I no longer have to feel as if I’m some emotionally stunted teenager, trapped in a forty year old body.

I don’t need to break things.

I don’t need to run away.

I DO need time.

To write.

To rediscover who I am.

I know I’m a mom, a mostly good one.

I know I’m a wife, a mostly good one.

I seem to have lost who I am outside of those titles, though. I’m working on finding out.

When I find myself faltering these days? I reach for these tools, in this new toolbox I’m filling.

A few that help?

1. Asking myself: “do I have a right to be offended?”

If not, let it go. If yes? Use my words to SPEAK up. Writing is key; up until a month ago, I would stuff any and all frustrations; till I reached a point of explosion/ overwhelmed meltdown.

2. Journaling and blogging. (I have already covered writing/ journaling.) blogging is a wonder. I write this stuff my soul is begging me to put out there, and people respond! I’ve never experienced anything like this before. To those who follow and/or read; I thank you. I cannot express how much your support means to me.

3. Music. I think I’ve been over this one before. Please see blog post: Playlist 728. That playlist is centering. It is a master calming tool, for me. I think everyone should have their own magic playlist, don’t you?

4. Mindfulness. Mindfulness of self, of others, of others feelings. This is one I am working hard on these days. Work in progress.

5. Being open, honest and kind. Loving this life, instead of bumping along from one negative reaction to the next.

6. And post-it’s. Lots and lots of post-it’s.

So, that’s what writing does for me. It helps me. I’m trying to be the best mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend I can. And to do that? I’m trying to live from a more loving place.

I stumble often; especially now, when trying to be more open, honest and kind. Instead of spending days overthinking things, I’m trying to put it all out there, verbally; mindfully.

What do you find works for you?

And, inspiration for the title of this post? Dan Auerbach’s new song, called Shine on Me.

Kind of the temperature around here these days. Quite catchy, too. 

Be well. 

3 thoughts on “shine on me…

  1. I’ve had to work hard at not punishing myself so much – and recognizing that each day is a new day to make different/better choices. It’s so easy to focus on what we’ve screwed up that we don’t give ourselves opportunities to do wonderful things.

    Liked by 2 people

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