do I look like a big kid, but my body still acts like a baby?” He asked me this last night as we were getting ready for bedtime stories. He’s four. How is it possible he is able to recognize this?!
I just read this in one of Russell Barkley, Ph.D’s books:
“Although they may be bright intellectually, many children with ADD or ADHD lag behind their peers developmentally by as much as 30 percent in certain areas, according to research by Dr. Russell Barkley. Recently researchers at NIH actually discovered that the ADHD brain matures three years more slowly than the non-ADHD brain.”
It was late. He had a rough day; not enough sleep, we were busy, meals were rushed, or very late… the playground was packed and too overstimulating. I could go on. Yet, he expressed such a complex concept; and was looking to me for an answer. I hope my face did not portray my shock.
I took a moment to gather my thoughts, and explained to him that he’s just like me and papa (his dad). We three are a little different than others; more in tune to how things make us feel; incredibly curious; and have really big feelings. I explained how we are trying to all work on things; I’m working on patience, organization and no more yelling. Papa is working on the same.
I ended with a request for him, please think of some things that you would like help with. We’ve come up with many strategies over the past two years to work around all of our difficulties, but never asked him, outright.
On May 22nd, when we were told his results, we were told we should share them with him. I did not think to ask how. I should have – I need concrete directions…
Yesterday was our planned day to tell him. However, it was too emotional of a day for him.
The best way I know how to share things with my son? Books. I requested two from the library, and they are sitting in my purse.
Praying today is a better day for him. We will be outdoors, at home. Maybe some sensory play. He told me just last week: “mama, do you know why I like sensory play so much? It helps me slow down, concentrate, and pay attention.” I am not kidding. This child is so intuitive, and full of understanding.
The books I found?
Wish us luck. I fear we are going to hurt his self esteem. I’m praying it actually gives him a much needed boost. To have a name, and some understanding of the diagnosis… it gave me peace after 38 years. I hope it shall do the same for him.
If you are a parent of an ADHD child, how did you explain it to them? I am open to any and all suggestions. ❤